Has Tinder, Bumble, & Similar Dating Apps Killed Modern Love?

You had to meet someone in person (often by chance), strike up a conversation, and see where things went. Or, you could go to a matchmaker or “order a bride.”

While the traditional ways of meeting someone and falling in love haven’t completely died, the rise of so many dating apps means that how you meet and fall in love has changed.

And that begs the question: Does the rise of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge mean the death of romance in modern love?

• The number of Americans who don’t have a steady partner has reached a record high. According to a study by the Institute for Family Studies, this number is more than 50% of 18 to 35 year old Americans.
• Each year, fewer Americans are planning to celebrate Valentine’s Day. In 2009, 63% of the survey respondents planned their V-day celebrations compared to a 52% in 2023.
• A 2021 survey found that 26% of American respondents, aged 18+, didn’t have sex in the past year. This is part of an increasing sexless trend, where 23% of respondents didn’t engage in hanky panky in 2016 and 2018 compared to 19% of respondents in 2004.

• Can swipe and hope for a love match
• Get possible love matches in your inbox, either daily or weekly
• Can use the search function to look for a date who matches your ideals (#LikeOrderingPizza)
• Can browse, endlessly scrolling through profiles of the hot, beautiful, and handsome

With 1.6 billion swipes on Tinder, its users logging onto the app a daily average of four to five times a day, and the dating app making 26 million+ love matches every day, there’s a lot of instant gratification floating around.

You don’t go after even more rewarding long-term goals, like a committed relationship, because your brain needs its fix – now.

A related concept to being spoiled for choice and the ease of online dating is love shopping. It’s like window shopping, and it also influences your ability to make meaningful connections.

When you window shop, you look at everything nice and pretty that “speaks to you.” You may go in, try on, and buy, but often we just fantasize and move onto the next window.

Online dating is pretty similar. You window shop too, using superficial factors like looks, to find love matches, except this is thoughtless matchmaking.

You mostly focus on a person’s main profile photo to swipe left or right with little consideration for who the person actually is and what their passions, values, and interests are.

Is love and romance really dead? Do dating apps really have that much power to kill something as timeless as love and romance?

The Rise in Casual Encounters and Hookups

Of course, not all users are into one night stands and gratuitous sex with strangers. But dating platforms like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge certainly make it easier to meet up with a stranger, especially if your search is confined to “who’s near you.”

As a result, you set up casual dates, which often lead to sex. And that’s where it ends. You may become sex buddies, or you easily find your next sex partner.

While you can argue that the increase in hookups and people interested in casual dating have killed love and romance, you can also say that it’s merely a reflection of the changing times.

Love Is More Accessible

We live in a society where we all need to fit into specific boxes. The number of boxes has increased, and you can now be straight, fall somewhere in the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, be into polyamorous relationships, and so many more options.

Love wasn’t always accessible to all. If you weren’t straight and fell into traditional love and gender boxes, it wasn’t so easy to find a love match.

Whether you are pansexual, fluid, into interracial or intercultural dating, or looking for a sugar mommy or daddy (or sugar baby), you can find your true love.

It starts with choosing the best niche dating site, not giving into instant gratification and decision overwhelm, and staying focused on your love and romance goals.

It’s easy to say that dating apps have killed romance and love, but the advances in technology may also simply just reflect our desires for simple solutions in lieu of more complex daily issues.

With intent, you can help keep traditional and digital romance alive. Focus on organic connections with your fellow humans where you can, and when you are on a dating app, be mindful how you date.